PREMIER League chief Richard Scudamore has today announced that he plans to make the Premier League sack race an Olympic event by 2012. Scudamore is currently lobbying IOC members to add the Premier League sack race to the bloated list of pointless Olympic events that nobody really gives two tiny squirts of piss about.

Talking to himself in a mirror, Scudamore said: “The Premier League sack race is the most anticipated race of the season and is the subject of much speculation and debate, much more so than the 100 metres. That race is over in less than 10 seconds - the Premier League sack race can sometimes last for well over a month. That is what I call entertainment. We need to exploit this before somebody in Spain or Italy steals my idea.”

However, arch-nemesis Sepp Blatter also sits on the board for the IOC and is unlikely to back such a proposal when the committee meet in 2009 to decide which new events will be included in the 2012 programme. The FIFA president said: “Basically anything that comes out of Richard’s mouth is like a massive curled up turd that will not flush away.”

Lord Coe, head of the London 2012 games, also derided Scudamore’s plans, accusing him of being dumber than self-proclaimed idiot Tessa Jowell, who had been eagerly espousing the inclusion of hopscotch and the egg and spoon race. “The man is a moron,” he said.

Meanwhile, the 2008/2009 Premier League sack race is already well underway, with Mark Hughes and Alan Curbishley favourites to take the title. Rafa Benitez is the bookies’ dark horse while Stoke’s Tony Pulis is currently evens to get the chop first. A spokesperson for William Hill, said: “My money is on Mark Hughes. He’ll be gone by October.”

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