NEWCASTLE manager Kevin Keegan has offered permanently crocked striker Michael Owen a new deal worth £21 million, on the condition he gets himself a perm. Keegan is a firm believer that success on the football pitch is mirrored by success at the hairdressers, alluding to his own classic perm that helped him twice pick up the World Player of the Year award.

Speaking at his local barbers, Keegan said: “Footballers don’t realise just how important a great haircut is if you want to be successful. As soon as I got my perm I was better than Maradona and Pele put together. I’ve told Michael if he wants to regain his form then he needs to think about sorting out his tresses - he’s had a sensible haircut for too long now. If he wants that new contract, he had better get those curlers out and get a killer perm like mine.”

Michael Owen was unavailable for comment yesterday, but Owen’s agent told reporters that he was considering Keegan’s tonsorial advice. He said: “We have often thought Michael needs a bit of an image change and we will certainly look at a Keegan-style perm. I know Michael’s childhood heroes were Carlos Valderama and Rene Higuita, so I wouldn’t rule anything out. I do admit that his current haircut is a bit shit and that Keegan does make a vaild point for once.”

Keegan famously auctioned off his perm at Sotheby’s in 1989, when it was sold for £1.7 million to an anonymous phone bidder. It has long been rumoured it had been bought by the Sultan of Brunei, which is supported by the fact he later changed his name to Kevin. In an interview in 1996, Keegan said that he regretted selling his perm, but that it had been ‘the right thing to do’.

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