A GROUP of Ancient Greeks complained today that the new prayer room at Ewood Park was inadequate for their methods of worship. The ‘multi-faith’ room claims to be designed for Blackburn supporters of all religious persuasions, from Islamic extremists to students of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

However, a group of Ancient Greeks have been quick to condemn the new prayer room, which they say has deliberately excluded their religion. “How are we to offer libations to Father Zeus when there is no sparkling wine and how are we to slaughter goats and sheep when there is no sacrificial altar. Somebody really didn’t think this through, did they?” grumbled a clearly perturbed Odysseus, King of Ithaca.

The Greeks are now preparing a 10-year siege at Ewood Park in protest over the prayer room, which they claim is discriminatory. “We shall sack Ewood Park and drink the blood of their wives and children for this most insulting act of impudence,” said Achilles, who is rumoured to be a pretty hard bastard with a spear and a lifelong Rovers fan.

Several witnesses claim that the Greeks are currently busy constructing a massive wooden horse in the Blackburn Rovers car park. One local man said: “They are building something that looks very much like a large wooden horse. I thought at first it was a remarkable feat of workmanship, but then I spotted the empty flat pack boxes from Ikea. I suppose everybody in Greece has one of these giant wooden horses in their living rooms.”

The Ancient Greeks have now been joined by various other religious groups, who all claim to have been ignored by Blackburn Rovers. These include a small battery of Satanists, several pagans and one surviving member of the Heaven’s Gate death cult. One Satanist commented: “We don’t actually support Blackburn Rovers, we’re just like those sanctimonious Greenpeace soap-dodgers who pretend they want to save the world, but really just want an excuse to chuck a few bricks through some windows.”

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